I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
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And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
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I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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