he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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