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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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