So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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