There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
