I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
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i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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