Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ugly people sure do ruin things
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
