I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
