roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
