hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
