yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize