I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
