great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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