I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
cat food counts as protein by the way
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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