You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize