i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
