Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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