yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
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