it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
