She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
