If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
