I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
