Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
