feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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