I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
