worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
