Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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