So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
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Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
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I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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