My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
