Moan for me like Helen Keller
home. puking in laundry basket.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
