Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
