She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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