i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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