i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
