STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Randomize
