i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
