he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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