Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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