You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
