Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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