He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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