At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
