after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
