I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
