We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
