just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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