he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
