it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
