Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
i think i just lost a toe
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
