happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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