We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
