butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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