Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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