im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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