apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
