Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
