You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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