Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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