I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
