Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
