i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
