I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
