Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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