I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
