I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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