I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
