I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
