I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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