dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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