does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Found the puke drawer
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.