apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars